I can't explain all of the photos. It would take too long. After that last, sort of introspective and dark entry, I did some more introspective wandering and found that things aren't all bad, and I really love what I'm doing. I'm just not sure it's the right path.
Last week I sat down and had a talk with a gifted teacher named Leanne Lutrell. She has been teaching in the Gwinnett County school system for the past 17 years. We met at a small cuban restaurant off of I-85 and spent three hours chatting about the technical, physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual realities of becoming a teacher in this American age of tests, tests and more tests.
It was a rich experience. Lutrell exuded the type of personality one would want in a teacher: Positive, good-humored, honest and excited but measured. Her highly expressive face changed like the weather. A broad, inviting smile could cloud over into a serious, furrowed brow when the conversation turned, and then switch right back again. I could understand why she didn't have many behavior problems. She could easily go from a bright sunny disposition to a raging, angry storm in the blink of an eye, and the only way to keep the sun out was to be good.
She was honest and helpful as I peppered her with questions. Is your first year truly as hellish as they say? What are the keys to discipline? How much room does the curriculum leave you to breath? Can you be creative in your lessons? How much does beaurocracy effect your classroom environment?
As we got into our separate cars to leave, I arranged to sit in on a few of her classes. Though I am drawn deeper and deeper into the professional photography world every day, my relatively new love for teaching does not die out. I also feel a need to give back to my community.
I feel that community service is a keystone in any democracy, but particularly ours. Many of the things in this country that I take for granted were won by people who laid aside their personal goals and picked up a picket, tutored in an afterschool program or cleaned up a trash-strewn beach. By focusing outside of themselves, they connected with their community and learned about it's issues.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Jimmy Carter, the Freedom Riders; they all connected to their community and looked to heal it's wounds. After America has faded into the past, it is their names and their actions that will be remembered when people speak of what made America great.
I once believed the journalism world could fill this need, but I was disappointed in this regard. In the final days of my journey to Korea, the tears, hugs, letters and gifts the students gave to me as I walked out of the doors of ESS Best Jr. taught me the power of helping another human being. A society that worships the individual over the community isolates people from one another. To teach is to care, to let another human being know they aren't alone, to heal the raw wounds of isolation.
Photography and teaching are both creative arts, and both involve connecting with people, which is why I love them both. One thing I hinted on in the last update was that sometimes when I was lost on the AT, looking over my shoulder and wondering if I was walking the right path, I would suddenly stumble across the main trail and realize what I'd done. That describes the last few months pretty well.
Spring is here. I went running today the air was perfumed with an olfactory cacaphony of blooming daffodils, honey suckle, cherry blossoms and azaleas. The warm air rung beads of salty sweat from my skin. I wiped them away with my shirt at stop lights. There is nothing quite like a little unbridled sweating. It's the feeling of expelling the toxins that build up in one's body, a cleansing, healthy sensation.
OK, got to run. Enjoy the photos. Sokonotes is not dead! Just busy as hell.
--Notes
